Lili's Redemption
by Alaina Irielle
Summary: COMPLETE Not many people get to have that one last time with a lost loved one. Lili regrets that she didn't get to have one last time with her friend Da'an, as she and Vorjak leave Earth with their new born baby...
1. Heartache

AN/ This is the very first fanfic I ever wrote. It's not exactly one of my better written stories but finally (cue drum roll), after many years; I present the finished product!!!! To all the people who were supportive and waited for so long for this, I dedicate the story to you. I want to give a shout out to Igbogal: You were the most enthusiastic and faithful of readers. It's readers like you who give me a reason to keep writing. God bless.

**Chapter 1 - Heartache**

Lili woke curled at the back of the shuttle, and her newborn baby Ariel cradled in her arms. Ariel stirred but did not wake, and Lili marvelled at how beautiful the child was. She carefully sat up, trying not to wake her daughter, as she leaned against the bioslurry that constituted the walls.

For the first time, it seemed, she took notice of the strong presence of Taelon technology. She took comfort in the familiarity of it. It reminded her of home. Of Earth. Suddenly, memories began to surface. She remembered her earliest assignments; working with Boone, the pain at remembering his death; she remembered Augur, and how his genius had saved her so many times. She remembered the birth of Liam, and his becoming a companion protector. She remembered how much they had worked together, and how he and Renee Palmer had saved her family. She would miss Liam.

Memories of her past were painful to remember. It was painful to leave behind all that she was. Of course she was grateful for Vorjak, her husband, and she was grateful to the Jaridians for accepting her so warmly, but Jaridia wasn't Earth. It wasn't home, and Lili doubted it ever could be. With a twinge of guilt, Lili glanced up at the pilot seat where Vorjak sat, controlling the shuttle; the seat where she had sat during the many occasions she had piloted Da'an… That was the most painful memory of all. She remembered the closeness they had shared and she glanced down at her palm, almost feeling the coolness of his energy as he pressed his palm to hers… She felt her palm tingle as she remembered what he'd given for her and Ariel. He had given his life. Lili found herself in tears. _I never even got to say goodbye…_She thought, wishing that it hadn't turned out this way, wishing that she could see him one last time. But it was no good. No amount of wishing would change the past. The past, she knew she had to accept. But at least she could make sure that the future would be better. She could make sure that Ariel wouldn't be hurt like she had been.

That son of a bitch, Sandoval! She cursed to herself, suddenly angry. Angry at Sandoval for destroying her world, angry at Vorjak for so rudely snatching her away even though she loved him, angry at herself for not having enough strength, because if she had fought she would not have been taken away and none of this would have happened, and Da'an would never have had to give his life… _Yes, I blame myself,_ she thought bitterly, wishing that there was some way she could make it up to him. But no amount of wishing and no amount of anger could bring it back. Even if it could, they would be light years apart, and she would probably never see him again anyway. Fresh tears started at this thought, prompting her to wonder at this sudden burst of emotion, but she realised something. You never really know what you have until you lose it, and she was feeling it with a vengeance. But why was she dwelling on the past? It wasn't like her. She was the strong one, the soldier, and she had to concentrate on the future, her future with Vorjak and Ariel. At this, she got up and sat beside Vorjak, but still she could not shake the memories of her friendship with Da'an…

"What troubles you, Lili?" Vorjak asked, abruptly disrupting her from her thoughts.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired, and I want to get Ariel home." She told him, disguising what she really felt.

"They will love her. We will be revered above all else." He assured her. Lili felt uncomfortable with that thought but didn't say anything. Vorjak seemed to notice her subtle discomfort.

"You will never be unhappy, I promise you." He told her, reaching out to hold her hand. Not wanting to upset him, she forced a smile, making out that she believed him. Inside, she was full of doubt. How could she ever be happy when she had just lost all that had been her life?

For Lili, the rest of the journey passed as though she were in Limbo. Time seemed to flow by, endlessly, and all she could remember of it was watching the nothingness that surrounded the shuttle, the velvet stretches of the universe lulling her into quietude.

When the shuttle finally landed on Jaridia, the new family found themselves surrounded by what seemed the entire Jaridian race. Cheers of victory were coming from everywhere. Lili felt uncomfortable at the attention. She felt even more so at the prejudice. Vorjak got out of the shuttle and started responding to the crowd with his own victory chants. Lili felt a little disappointed in his lack of compassion. Suddenly, he turned toward her, grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the shuttle, showing her off to the crowd. In that instant, Lili hated him for exploiting her like that, after everything she'd been through. She had not given up everything for him, to be treated like an object. Holding back tears, she pulled away from him and ran away from the crowd.

Lili hid in an alien forest, familiar, yet unfamiliar. She held Ariel close in a protective gesture, letting tears roll down her cheeks once more. Ariel snuggled against her Mother, contentedly. _How can she be so happy and content after all we've been through?_ An emotional Lili wondered. Ariel just gazed up at her with bright, innocent eyes.

"I know what you would say if you could talk." Lili told her daughter. "You'd tell me it doesn't have to be this way. Oh, if only it were that simply." Ariel simply smiled as if to say "why not?"

At that moment, Lili heard the crowd advancing toward the trees. Vorjak probably had everyone out looking for her. She felt a little touched that he was worried about her, but it was claustrophobic at the same time. Lili found herself running deeper into the woods, not stopping, not looking to see who was following her, not knowing where she was going. She ran and ran, fear overriding her commonsense as the daylight faded and time wound on.

Eventually, exhaustion began to kick in. Lili sank to her knees, trying to comfort Ariel as she began to squirm in Lili's arms. Ariel began to settle and, finally, the fatigue overwhelmed Lili and she fell asleep on the forest floor.


	2. The Dream

**Chapter 2 - The Dream**

Lili sank deeper into the subconscious realm, leaving the material world farther and farther behind. A silver mist clouded her vision, swirling around her. After a moment, it parted, drawing its tendrils back to reveal what it hid. She found herself in Da'an's office. And sure enough, there he was, lying as still as a marble statue. His death sent shock waves reeling through her body.

She clapped her hand against her mouth as the reality of vicious memories began to surface. Vivid memories. She could see the funeral parlour scene playing in front her, over and over, in full blown colour, as though she were watching her own. Tears sprang from her eyes, flooding her cheeks in a matter of seconds. The pain of it made her feel like she was being torn apart.

_Why am I being made to go through this again?! _She screamed in her mind. Adrenaline seared through her body and her heart beat soared to twice the normal rate. She never felt such fear as when she was faced with death, despite her strength in doing so.

Her knees turned to jelly and she could barely stand. When she was able, she tore her gaze away from the seemingly lifeless body of her friend. She peered out of the window, and saw only the silver mist that restricted her vision. She didn't strain to see through it, though. She hadn't the strength to do so.

Drawing her attention back to the virtual glass of the window, she became aware of a soft groan. Lili froze. The only other person in the room had been… Slowly, she turned. What she saw brought a fresh well of tears to her eyes. She was so overcome with emotion that her legs gave way beneath her, and she sank to the ground. The tears flowing more freely than before, Lili wanted desperately to look away, but she found that she couldn't. She simply had to watch the scene unfold in front of her eyes.

For a few moments, Lili couldn't believe what she was seeing, but no matter how many times she told herself it wasn't real, it was still happening. She watched in disbelief as Da'an turned his head and slowly sat up. Lili gasped as he turned to face her.

"Lili; do not be afraid. Keep your faith and be strong. It is not the end." He assured her. All of a sudden, the room appeared to expand. Da'an seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, yet he wasn't physically moving. It was odd. As she realised what was happening, the silver mist began to cloak the room again. In a last desperate effort to stay in this realm a moment longer, Lili thrust her hand out, reaching to Da'an.

"NO! DON'T LEAVE ME!" She screamed, with a heart-breaking note of desperation in her voice. But it was futile. The mist had become a dark grey smoke cloud that was thick and impenetrable. A few seconds later, everything was black.


	3. Balvak

**Chapter 3 - Balvak**

"Lili!" A voice called, penetrating the dense blank protecting her consciousness. She opened her eyes, and at first she wasn't sure where she was, but it didn't take long for her memories of the previous night to resurface. She glanced around, trying to make out who the voice belonged to. A face was gazing down at her, and relief washed over her at the realisation of who it was.

"Balvak!" She exclaimed. He ran to her side and placed an arm around her as he knelt down beside her.

"I was so worried about you. If Vorjak has done anything to hurt you…" He said defensively, seeming to read her thoughts.

"No, it's nothing like that. It's silly, but I was… scared." She told him in a small voice. "And so angry. Everything has been taken away from me. I've lost my freedom, and any power I had to fight. And what for? After everything that I've willingly sacrificed, I'm being treated as nothing more than an object. An _accessory_. I did this because I thought that this way there would be a chance to achieve redemption for the future, but there never was any hope, was there. And now the one Taelon that would have helped you, that would have joined the fight, is gone. The only chance we had is gone." She admitted, in a fit of anger. Balvak went silent, studying her face thoughtfully.

"Is this the Taelon you told me about? The one you were going to contact when you arrived on Earth?" He asked her, calmly. She nodded, forlornly, words failing her for the first time she could remember.

"He's dead, then?" He asked, stating the obvious. All she could do was look up at him, allowing him to read the revealing despair in her eyes. For a few moments, he did, but suddenly, he looked away.

"That can't be right." He commented, more to himself than to her.

"What do you mean?" Lili asked, finally finding her voice, though with great effort. Balvak turned to look at her once more, and spoke with careful deliberation.

"There may be more to this situation than what appears to be." He told her.

"I don't understand." Lili replied, the perplexity speaking for itself.

"I can show you better than I can explain it." He told her, taking care with every word he spoke. With that, he stood up and held out his hand to her. Lili's confusion was paramount, but she trusted him. Slowly, she reached out and accepted his hand.


	4. Da'an

**Chapter 4 - Da'an**

The stars glinted in the blackened night sky of Earth, complimenting the moon, which shone as brightly as the sun, throwing its rays into the embassy to be refracted by the virtual glass of the window…

Da'an lay in an energy stream. He wasn't laying in comfort as he usually did. He was restless, his features contorted in worry, as the energy stream continued to massage his body. Out of nowhere, it seemed, the look of worry changed to that of distinct shock, and seconds later he sat bolt upright, eyes widened in fear as the energy stream faded away to almost nothing.

It took a few moments to regain his composure, and when he did, he grasped the arms of his chair, glancing around at the darkened room, the moon casting shadows in the corners and across the walls. Ignoring the eerie air the room contained at that moment, he summoned the strength to stand, using the chair as an aide.

Turning to the window, he cautiously took a step forward. Summoning a strength he hadn't known he'd need, he walked, almost glided, to the window, his steps fluid-like and graceful, with the air that usually carried him. He peered out at the night sky, lethargically lifting his hand. He blushed slightly, as his eyes fell on his palm, and he dropped his hand back to his side. His eyes darted back to the window, allowing his gaze to scan the distant horizon. After a moment, he furthered his gaze to incorporate the velvet sky, searching for the star that was Jaridia…


	5. A Glimmer of New Hope

**Chapter 5 - A Glimmer of New Hope**

If Lili had awakened alone, she would have been helplessly lost. She didn't recognise her surroundings at all. She simply allowed Balvak to take her to what she prayed would be safety and one last remaining hope.

Eventually, the density of the forest began to lighten, and very soon Balvak led Lili out of the forest and into a darkened street, deserted as it was at such a late hour. She glanced at the quaint buildings as Balvak led her through the side streets. He glanced back at her, momentarily, and grabbed her hand before continuing through the seemingly endless streets.

After what seemed like an eternity, Balvak stopped. He dropped Lili's hand and reached for the door, fumbling with the security and access codes. Lili wrapped her arms around herself and Ariel, feebly attempting to shut out the cold. She turned away from Balvak and let her eyes scan her surroundings. Her eyes drifted from the dreary, lifeless buildings and up to the bold navy blue of the Jaridian night sky. She scanned the heavens, faintly wondering which star was Earth's sun.

"Aha!" Came Balvak's triumphant cry. Lili snapped out of her trance and turned to look at him. He had successfully gained entry into the building which was guarded with a temperamental security system, and was already disappearing inside. Lili turned away from the streets and the stars and followed him in.

She found herself in an empty room that was dark and cramped, and the walls had been badly white-washed. Balvak headed across the room and through another door. He led her up a flight of stairs, down a corridor, and through a door to their left. The room they entered was small and characteristic of a technical laboratory. Balvak headed to the computer interface, and activated the database, which was by no means as comprehensive as the Taelon databanks, but was nonetheless still impressive by human standards. Balvak's many files flitted across the screen, as he searched for the one that he was looking for. Finally the one he was looking for appeared on the screen. It was one that Lili found familiar.

"Is that Taelon?" She asked, with surprise.

"As you know, we have long distance communications capabilities, but we have faced many problems in our quest to develop the technology that would allow us to form a connection between Taelon systems and Jaridian systems, which would provide us with the advantage of supremacy, and sensitive interaction. But, using the Taelon enhancements that you provided me with, I have managed to manipulate the satellite system, allowing our long distance array to forge a basic connection with the Taelon data stream. This new technology has yet to be revealed to my fellow Jaridians." He explained.

"How the hell did you manage to bypass Taelon communications security?" She asked, stunned by his intellectual intuity.

"The information in your shuttle provided a crude link. It wasn't much, but it was all I needed."

"I'm impressed. But how does this help us?"

"The data stream appears to be tuned in to the individual energy frequency of individual Taelons, depending on which systems we wish to access."

"So what are you saying; if you wanted to communicate with the Mothership's bridge, then all you'd need is Zo'or's energy signature?"

"Yes, and since I now have an established connection with the data stream, the active energy signatures of all living Taelons are revealed to me on this display. This one in particular caught my attention." He told her, stepping back so that she could see. Lili recognised it instantly.

"Da'an?" She whispered. "I don't understand. I watched him die, how…"

Balvak held up a hand and she fell silent.

"Not dead, just preserved, until he was able to reconstitute himself. He is no fool. He knew that his energy wasn't enough to save your child from Earth's atmosphere, so why would he kill himself?"

Lili was speechless, unable to comprehend this new information, but at the same time intense relief flooded her body.

"The only problem is the instability of the connection. An attempt to communicate with him at this point would overload the system, and the connection would most likely be severed. Not to mention the security risk. I need to do more research in order to stabilise such a tender connection. Jaridian systems and Taelon systems were never designed to be integrated" He paused. "Your knowledge and expertise regarding Taelon systems could be very valuable. Perhaps we could undertake this project together?" He suggested. Slowly, Lili nodded, her hope at seeing Da'an one last time driving her into acceptance.


	6. Returning Home For Now

**Chapter 6 - Returning Home… For Now**

It was in the early hours of morning when Lili finally returned to the place she had come to call home, in her time on Jaridia.

All was conveniently dark and quiet as Lili gently laid Ariel in her crib. For a few minutes she simply watched her daughter sleep, wistful thoughts about that which she had discovered in Balvak's lab passing through her mind. As she stood there, gazing at the porcelain perfection of her daughter's tiny face, she knew. She was going to do it. Had to. Whatever anger she might have felt toward Da'an for deceiving her had completely melted away, and all that was left now was her aching need to set things right, and have the one last time she thought had been robbed of her.

Lili sank to her knees, hand still resting on the edge of the crib, as fatigue began once again to claim her. She drifted into sleep, there in the nursery; wishes about what could be, and thoughts of the life she had left behind, invaded her dreams.

Lili woke to see Vorjak standing before her, cradling the smiling baby Ariel in his arms. Sensing Lili awaken, he turned his gaze to her.

"Why did you run?" He asked, his voice low - barely a whisper. Lili almost didn't know how to respond. He saw much. More, perhaps, than anyone had ever seen in her before. It was one of the things that had opened her heart to him in the first place, when they had met all that time ago. In this moment, she saw the same piercing gaze, the same knowing look; the same Jaridian she had once known but had almost forgotten. She knew then that she had to tell him what was truthfully in her heart.

"I was afraid." She admitted.

A look of surprise crept over Vorjak's face.

"In all the time I have known you; I have seen only the soldier that you are. You have never betrayed fear of any kind. Why now?"

"I couldn't face admitting it, until now."

At Lili's words, Vorjak placed Ariel back in the crib and turned to kneel before his wife.

"You know you have nothing to fear from me." He told her, earnestly.

"I know." She replied, quietly, her eyes fixed on her knees.

"Lili, I love you."

At those words Lili's eyes flew up to meet Vorjak's, and she again felt her strength awakened under his fiercely passionate gaze.

"I know you love me, just as you have my love. But there are things in my past that I need to resolve, and I need you to trust me. To allow me that." She pleaded. Vorjak lifted his hand to caress her cheek.

"You do not need to seek my permission. If this is what you need, then this is what you shall have."

For the first time in so long, Lili felt comforted by his words. She believed him. No longer felt afraid. And for that she loved him.


	7. Working on Balvak's Project

**Chapter 7 - Working on Balvak's Project**

The next day, Lili could be found in Balvak's lab, once more. Balvak stood at one of the computers, attempting to reconfigure the software which supported the Jaridian's long distance communication system, while Lili worked at attempting to download the data core from her shuttle. When the words "access denied" flashed across the shuttle's virtual glass main-frame, Lili groaned.

"If only Augur were here. He'd know what to do." She muttered to herself.

"Did you say something?" Balvak asked, looking up from the computer console at which he worked.

"Just thinking out loud." She replied. "I was remembering a friend of mine back on Earth. He was a technical genius. If anyone could have accomplished this, it would have been him." She explained to Balvak. He nodded, and turned back to his computer.

"Have you made any progress yet?" Balvak enquired.

"Nothing yet. The security system has been reconfigured to block out my access codes. I have to break the new codes before I can do anything. How about you?"

"I too am meeting with little progress. There is, as yet, very little to report." Balvak replied.

With that short exchange, the two once more descended into their work, in silence.

Hours had passed now. Lili could not understand how to make the reconfigurations work. She was resigned to the fact that she had not Augur's expertise, but her expertise regarding Taelon technology was still all the more comparable than the next human being. Surely, if Balvak's project was going to have success, then she would be the likely candidate to provide it. So, why was she having so much trouble?

Balvak's hand came to rest on her shoulder, and she sighed in trepidation, reaching up to rub the sleep from her weary eyes.

"You should get some sleep. You will not be effective in your current state." He informed her.

"But your project…" She began.

"Can wait until morning." He told her, cutting her off. "You require rest, and that is of primary concern."

Knowing he was right, she placed her hand over his in silent thanks for a moment, and turned to leave the laboratory. She knew she would need her rest if she wanted to uphold optimal functionality.

Vorjak was already asleep when Lili arrived home. She smiled to herself at how peaceful he looked, and she curled up beside him, winding her arms around him. He did not stir as she did so, allowing her the blessing of falling into the comfort of sleep without the worries of a dissertation to plague her.

Vorjak had gone when she finally awoke the next morning. She turned and stretched, feeling more well-rested than she had in years. When she glanced at the time, however, she knew that she had slept for far longer than she should have. Vorjak must have known it, but had left her to remain asleep anyway.

She groaned, but knew not to blame Vorjak for her lateness. He was simply a Jaridian, concerned for his wife's welfare.

Quickly, she disentangled herself from the bed sheets, and left a message for Balvak saying that she was on her way.

Checking the nursery, she found that Ariel too was nowhere to be found. Vorjak must have taken her with him. Lili smiled, making a mental note to _thank_ Vorjak when her part in this project was over. With that, she turned from the nursery, straightening her clothes as she slipped her feet into her shoes and left their home.


	8. Communication and Preparation

**Chapter 8 - Communication and Preparation**

Faced with the Taelon shuttle's virtual mainframe, once more, Lili was faced with the same problem as the day before. _What I wouldn't give for a cup of coffee_, she thought to herself, as she considered the problem before. She felt the desperation of her need to accomplish her task sweep over her. She felt so close as to almost reach out and touch Da'an, but the pain at not being close enough was almost impenetrable.

_Da'an…_The Taelon swept through her mind in a flurry. She remembered the secret authenticator code he had left for himself as a backdoor for emergencies. The one he had secretly given her during the sharing after their shuttle had crashed in the Earth forest all those years before. Wasn't it possible that it still existed? If it's status remained unchanged, of course. Deciding it was worth a try, Lili began to input the code that had been filed at the back of her memory for so long.

The wait for verification was excruciating. The seconds seemed like minutes, crawling by in a manner of their own accord. She hardly dared to believe it when the words "access granted" flashed across the screen.

"Balvak, do you have the reconfigurations?" She demanded, her voice shaking. He looked up in surprise but handed her a small disc.

"I think they are almost ready, but I am not certain."

She didn't reply. She inserted the disc into the drive and began to download.

It took a few minutes but the words "download successful", when finally announced, were akin to the sweetest music Lili had ever heard.

Not wanting to waste any time, Balvak proceeded directly to the computer console containing the Jaridian database, in order to complete the reconfiguration and finally stabilise the connection. Lili appeared behind him, watching him as he worked.

"We can use the same code to send Da'an a secure, encoded, message." She offered. He grinned.

"Would you like to do the honours?" He asked, stepping back from the console to allow her room. She stepped forward with an eagerness she hadn't quite realised the depth of.

The voice recorded message received from Da'an, later that day, was definitely authentic. Lili had wasted no time in checking.

She could hardly believe it was his voice, nor did she expect the conflictions it inspired within her.

She had listened to the message several times, and now it was firmly etched on her memory. He had been both pleased and surprised to receive her message, and sent instructions for the final reconfigurations to be added to the shuttle. The reconfigurations that would activate the shuttle's i.d. drives. He had also sent her coordinates, with the request that they meet him in 14 hours. It wouldn't give them much time to prepare, but if they worked quickly it might just be enough.

"Balvak, what are the possibilities that this is a trap?" Lili asked, suddenly.

"Less than 3 percent. We authenticated the message, but it's obviously still a risk, and we know that. The question is; are we willing to take that risk?" Balvak replied. Lili sighed, inwardly.

"The question of risk is really no question at all, in my mind." She told him, her tone hushed. He nodded in silent understanding.


	9. One Last Time

**Chapter 9 - One Last Time**

Da'an paced the corridors of the old out-post, agitatedly. They had not yet arrived, and he was beginning to doubt whether they would.

Turning his thoughts away from his worries, he observed his surroundings instead. It was an old station that had once been used by his brethren many centuries before they had come to Earth. Although it was abandoned now, it would only serve its purpose as a Taelon-Jaridian meeting place this once. The station would soon be scrapped, in order to retain any remaining reposits of core energy. They would not have long before the Taelon engineers arrived, but so long as Lili and her Jaridian ally arrived soon, it would be enough.

Turning from the corridor he had been wandering, Da'an entered an old viewing port. He cast his gaze over the horizon, remembering a time before the planet had been turned into a barren wasteland. A pang of regret shot through his body, and a blush took over his being. It lasted only a moment, and in it he knew that all the good he had strived for on Earth would never be enough to erase the sins of his past.

A hollow dinging sound brought Da'an out of his reverie. It was the signal which was designed to alert the occupants of the room of arrivals. Da'an left the room without a second thought, praying that it was Lili who had arrived at the station, and not an enemy who would seek to compromise his position.

Lili walked through the corridor of the abandoned building, uncertainly, Balvak at her side. She recognised the figure that had emerged from one of the rooms, immediately. When the Taelon's gaze landed on her, he blushed, blue energy engulfing his body for a moment before subsiding to leave behind his usual humanoid form. If Lili had the ability to blush in the same way, she knew she would have. No amount of planning could have prepared Lili for actually coming face to face with Da'an after all that had happened. But here they were.

An odd feeling swept over Lili. The realisation that perhaps she would, after all, be granted her one last time with Da'an was almost too much to comprehend.

They both stood for a moment, observing each other numbly. It seemed that he was as unprepared for this meeting as she was. Eventually, the moment passed, and he motioned with his hands, offering the Taelon gesture of peace. Lili returned the gesture, unaware that Balvak was doing the same at her side.

Swallowing her pride, and the shock she felt, Lili stepped slowly forward, not stopping until she was stood directly before Da'an. Gently, he reached forward to take her hand in his, pressing their palms together. The coolness of his touch felt different and yet sweeter than she remembered. Like some forbidden luxury that she had not tasted for many a year. She revelled in the energy that throbbed against her palm, not realising that she was crying until his palm fell away from hers. Da'an smiled, gently, as he raised his hand to brush away her tears.

"Come. We have much to discuss." With that he motioned for them to follow him, leading them into the room from which he had just emerged. Once inside, he gestured to a low bench upon which Lili and Balvak could sit. Da'an sat beside Lili, exploring the depths of her eyes.

"I can honestly say that I had no idea that I would ever see you again." He told her.

"Do you have any idea what I went through? I thought you were dead." She fired at him, unable to keep her feelings bottled any longer. Da'an hung his head in remorse.

"I wish I had told you the truth."

"Why didn't you?"

"Would you have believed me if I had? Could you have accepted it?"

Lili couldn't find it in her to reply. She knew he was right. And yet, the anger she might once have felt would not come. She felt an intense frustration at the feelings that stirred within her. She had been through so much, but the anger would not come. She was relieved to see the Taelon again, and surprised to find that she actually cared about his welfare, but the anger was gone. There was simply no place for it any more. What mattered now was in the present and the future, and the future was held in the tiny body of her beautiful daughter. In that instant, Lili understood her purpose at last. And she knew that she would give it her all, no matter what it took. She would find a way to give her daughter the life she herself had been robbed of, even if it meant making the ultimate sacrifice. She knew this now. And she knew it was Da'an who had given her that.


	10. Hope Assured and No Regrets

**Chapter 10 - Hope Assured and No Regrets**

"So it is agreed then. When the time comes, we will test your theory." Da'an was saying to Balvak, who had been explaining his ideas about the core energy crisis to the Taelon. As Lili had hoped, Da'an's reaction to the proposed project had been positive, and now arrangements had been made.

Da'an sat silent for a moment, studying Lili's face in contemplation. She remembered seeing that expression on his face somewhere in the past. It was familiar to her, yet an image from a life long gone. She tried to remember when she had seen him use that particular expression. Then it came to her, like a dream floating back to the edges of her consciousness. The last time she had seen him look at her that way was when they had spent those alarming few hours alone in the forest, dependant on each other for survival. He had gazed at her curiously, as though seeing something in her that she herself didn't. He was looking at her in the same way, now.

After a moment of contemplation, Lili suddenly understood. Regrets had no place here. The bond of friendship between them had existed since the very beginning, and despite all that they had been through it existed still, transcending the time and space that had parted them for so long. Lili smiled at him, feeling complete for the first time since she had left Earth. He smiled back at her, relishing in the closeness of the moment that was passing between them. Slowly she moved her arm towards his, extending her fingers so that they could lightly brush his up-turned palm.

"Lili…" Balvak called her name, breaking the reverie. She turned to meet Balvak's gaze, her arm not moving an inch. "Lili, I understand how important this moment is to you, but we cannot stay much longer. We cannot risk the Jaridian authorities being alerted to our absence."

As much as she hated to admit it, she knew he was right. As much as she wanted to stay here, with Da'an, her family and her life were all back in Jaridia. She was ready to return. Da'an, it seemed, understood the importance of this final moment and took hold of her hand before she could take it away. He gave a gentle squeeze before letting her go.

"You will always be in my thoughts." He told her, softly. Unable to find the words to tell him all that she felt she squeezed his hand in return, before letting go. Satisfied that she'd had her one last time with her Taelon friend, she turned and allowed Balvak to lead her back to the shuttle.

It was dusk when Lili finally entered the home she shared with Vorjak, Jaridia's moons hanging low in a sky dappled with colour. She found that Vorjak had been waiting for her, his eyes blazing as his gaze took all of her in. Knowing her purpose at last, she walked toward him without a moment's hesitation and kissed him with a passion she hadn't felt since the consummation of their marriage. _Yes, it is good to be home _was her final fleeting thought as she lost herself in her beloved husband's embrace…

**The End**


End file.
